A Guy Weighs In

I always appreciate a guy’s point of view, so long as he is a trusted source and not someone just trying to score. So, I asked my guy BFF from TU has to weigh in a few things from my last two blog posts.

He says a girl can absolutely call a guy after a hook. But there is a catch…it has to be a call or a text. He says if she chooses to Facebook him the friend request should be accompanied by this message, "Hey sorry I didn’t care enough to get your number when we had intercourse, but let’s be virtual friends".

As for the guys with excuses, he claims he doesn’t know why they make them. I guess it’s just the nature of the beast. He was a bit surprised, however, on just how awful these excuses can be! “’My sister hurt her elbow’ has nothing to do with anything”, he says. “Does his sister’s elbow injury affect his penis? This makes no sense unless she injured her elbow jerking him off….in which case you should run!”

We may not have gotten a lot of solid advice here, but we did learn it is OK for a girl to make first contact with a guy after a hook up as long as it’s not cyber contact. Other than that, we just reconfirmed what we already knew. Excuses are lame!

Thanks for weighing in friend xoxo

I’ve had some awesome girl time lately. Talking with old friends and new has given me a lot of ideas for the next post….stay tuned!

What's Your Excuse

After last night’s post I got a lot of comments and texts. I noticed a lot of opinions changed based on relationship status. I figured while I have everyone’s attention I might as well keep writing!

Tonight I’m flip flopping the topic to the guys who are all about making contact but very seldom follow through on plans. I like to call this particular breed of men “tech savvy”. They are all about text messages, emails, wall comments and instant messages of some sort. These guys are all talk until it’s come time to physically be in the same room.

I know a guy who will talk to me all day and night, which at first seemed nice. But then I realized he only made contact through modern marvels of the internet and smart phones. We’ve found ourselves at the same place at the same time a few times. You would think after all this “tech talk” the ground work would be laid. But he always seemed to have some excuse, one of the better ones being pet allergies.

A different guy once told me “I can’t make it out tonight, my sister hurt her elbow.” Don’t get me wrong, I’ve hit the old funny bone pretty hard over the years, but I can’t remember a time when it altered my plans or the plans of anyone in my family.

A good friend of mine was talking to a boy for a while. He finally made plans to hang out with her only to cancel at the minute. His excuse; my hip hurts. This one is my favorite. Your hip hurts? Are you geriatric?

Maybe technology has impaired us (both men & women) to truly connect with each other. It is easy to be brave behind your keyboard. If you don’t think something is going to sound right you just hit backspace. If it’s too late you say “J/K” or “LOL” and the person at the other end will just assume you didn’t mean what you said. It’s so easy to make conversation and end it before it gets embarrassing. You can me straight forward and even a little raunchy because there’s a barrier. But, when we are faced with having to stand in front of someone and talk WITH OUR LIPS AND OUR VOICE we have to overcome bad jokes and awkward silences. People are hiding behind their computers and phones. They are nervous to make real contact. Is that why guys are making these horrible excuses? Is it because they are nervous?

These guys aren’t fooling anyone but themselves! We single ladies may not know what’s appropriate when it comes to calling a guy. But we certainly aren’t dumb enough to believe these dreadful excuses. We aren’t sitting around waiting for you to call after your hip heals. Maybe we’d rather you just say you aren’t interested. But if you did, what would I have to write about?

Tell me followers, what are some of the lame excuses you’ve heard?

Why Can't Single Girls Be Gutsy?

What would Carrie do? That's right Carrie Bradshaw. For starters she'd right a newspaper column read by all of New York as opposed to a blog with 5 followers. But I'm going to channel my inner Carrie anyway.

After a silly weekend away with friends, I got to thinking, what is the role of the twenty-something woman in a post hookup situation? Most of the time a hook up is just that, a onetime deal....but how do you know if it should (or could) be more?
Should a girl just wait a few days for a guy to get in touch with her? If he doesn't, she could just brush it off as a good time and move on. That's usually what I do.

In college a roommate insisted I read "He's Just Not That Into You." It made perfect sense; if he's not calling he's not into you. Then a much trusted friend of the male species told me that's all bullshit! One set of rules cannot be applied to every situation.

So, is sitting idle really acceptable for the modern day woman? I'm not the type to stand on a soapbox and preach women's rights. I think if we want to be treated equal we should act equal, without all the fuss. But when it comes to dating, acting equal has its stereotypes.

If the guy isn't making a move, should a girl just accept it? Or should, as an equal, the girl be equally responsible to make to make contact? It's all too easy with email, text messages, Facebook etc.

I’d like to consider myself a gutsy girl in most situations. But when it comes to dating, I’m terrified of the clingy girl stereotype. If a girl sends subtle email or a friend request, she is seen as being a creepy stalker or a clingy girl.

I want to be a girl who goes after what I want. But it’s so much easier to get a Master’s Degree, a great job and a really cute car….hell it’s easier to finish a marathon than it is to figure out how to date.

I want to be a gutsy in dating.

My First Crush

On Modern Family tonight it was Gays Night Out. The episode was hilarious as always, but that's not the point of this long overdue blog post.

The guys were talking about their first "boy crush", they drank fruity drinks and discussed which stars were the crush worthy when they were little.

This got me thinking about my first celeb crush. It was long before my NKOTB phase. As a matter of fact the first time I ever saw this person I was wathing Sesame Street. I was a huge fan of Big Bird and the rest of the crew, and if as I child I lived for sweeping the clouds away.

I'll never forget the episode with Savion Glover. I was drawn to him like a moth to light. His feet moved faster than the combined speed of the neighborhood kids chasing the ice cream truck. And that sound...oh that sound....



A few years later I got my first of many pair of tap shoes. They never seemed to make that sound. But, God, did I try. All these years later, my childhood dream of becoming a dancer has long faded. My crush on Savion Glover, however, is just as huge as the day I first laid eyes (and ears) on him.