Thank You for Helping Me Be Me

When we last meet I told you about my big 10 mile race. That will always remain one of my greatest accomplishments. I’m still on a high from the race. However, I regret to admit I haven’t been out for a good run since the race. I am going to make lacing my sneakers up a priority again.

A lot has happened since I last blogged. For starters; I graduated!! That’s right I am now the proud owner of a Master’s Degree. I also turned 27.

Both the graduation and my birthday represent the passing of time. 2 years ago, when I began grad school, I was a mess of a human being. I moved back to Scranton on someone else’s terms, I spent the better part of the summer heartbroken, and I felt like I lost control of my life. But with the help of my incredible family and the most amazing friends God can give a person, I realized that life was never mine. I was a shell of myself before I moved home.

I think deep down inside I always knew the life I was living wasn’t right. But, for some reason people have the ability to make they believe things are perfect when they aren’t. Through the years there were a few times I told friends I wasn’t happy or I needed out of a far from perfect relationship. But, we always brushed it off as stuff that was said after too much wine or tequila. I guess a good solid heartbreak was exactly what I needed to realize they were never just drunk thoughts.

So I picked up the pieces of a crumbled life and went back to school. (Grad school was always something I wanted to do, but was never a possibility in my “past life”). Doing something huge for me and all by myself was the first step in building MY life. Fast forward two years later; I now own my life. I know exactly what I am capable of. I can do more than idly survive; I can start fresh and make a world that is mine.

For me two years of school, two birthdays and a Master’s Degree represent so much more than the passing of time, the debt of student loans and the possibility of a better career. It represents my strengths and the amazing people I have supporting me in my life.

To these people; thank you xoxo

I Believe in Happily Ever After

It was a fairy tale weekend! The magic began Friday morning. I’m not one to get caught up in love stories. I’m usually too caught up in reality to believe that things just fall perfectly into place. But, I gladly admit that I was obsessed with the Royal Wedding. The story of an ordinary girl falling in love with a prince reminded me of every Disney movie I watched growing up. Deep down inside I’d rather believe in fairy tales than reality, and this wedding was proof that sometimes they are one in the same.

Sunday morning was the Broad Street Run. I was nervous as hell and didn’t sleep well the night before. But once I started running everything just fell into place. I did far better than anyone (including myself) had expected. One hour and 49 seconds, not too shabby for my first race. There was an energy from the crowd that surged into me. With the help of cheering and the support from my father, who ran every step next to me, I was able to leave every negative thought and feeling that’s been eating my soul for the last few months. There were over 30,000 runners, but for those 10 miles, it was just me and daddy. The Broad Street Run was a goal a set for myself, and there were times during training that I was certain I’d never be able to do it. Cross that finish line was my fairy tale.

Today another dream came true. Accompanied by three friends, I saw Live with Regis and Kelly. I’ve always loved Regis and being able to see him before he leaves the show this year was an incredible experience.

Now I have my eyes sets on the real fairy tale. After running through Philadelphia and spending a day in New York City, I am more certain than ever that I belong back in a big city. I miss the sight of a skyline, the sound of the subway under my feet and the smell of food trucks. I miss trying to figure out what language people are speaking. I miss sidewalk protests, and an entire city coming together during playoff season.
With graduation less than a week away I want to focus my energy on finding my way back to city living. It’s always been my dream to work in PR in a big city. I’m not sure what I have to do to make this dream come true, but I also wasn’t sure that I’d ever be able to run a 10 mile race. When I want something bad enough I always find a way. I’m more determined than ever to make this big city dream a reality.

I remember what it’s like to believe in happy endings again. I don’t want to lose this feeling of hope.